Is this my life?

I don't know.

When I'm sad over relationship, I can turn down anything. Even to the extend of absence from funeral. Am i too serious? Or i take relationship too serious?

Share a bit of blood in my life...

I've got a screwed up family.
When i say screwed up, i mean it.
Yes. I do like to hide from others, even pretending i have a loving family.

Cause, to me, it's a shame and disgrace.

When I'm home, i will be in my room. Fact is, i caged myself in the room. Why again? Cause I don't know what's the real meaning of coming home. To me, I go home bcus i need money and a bed. Otherwise, seeing parents, concern about them or whatsoever... none. Is it very bad? Am i not filial? Up to you people to think about it...
What i can say about myself is, I got a very unhealthy mind... torturing...

While i found another "home"...
I'm happy... or what? i don't really know..

I'm so screwed up...

My life is fucked...

Even god is playing on me...

What have i done to deserve all this?

I don't cheat? I don't kill? I don't steal?
I didn't do all the harmful things.. why am i treated this way?

Why just nobody cherish me? Not even my parents...
To others, I'm trash... To me, I'm nothing...

To you... I'm what?...

My last hope, least, final one... seems fading away..












Sometimes... the corner of the wall is the most cozy place.
Although it's gray and cracked.

Happiness no longer exist... Or to me it's not a word, it's an myth.
Wanted to see it, yet know what it's not possible...

Is this my life?..